Mother's Day.
Flowers, candy, presents. Sleeping in! This is a normal Mother's Day for the blissfully unaware. For my circle of friends it's a little different.
We still get flowers. Maybe candy. Sometimes presents. But we also get the constant reminder that our Mother's day hugs are always less than they should be. The jammy kisses are never complete. There is always part of our Mother's Day spent dreaming of what might have been.
For a few of my friends the nightmare is worse. They just want people to acknowledge that they ARE a mother. One of my friends pointed out that some people do not believe she is a mama because she never held her babies, they were delivered straight into heaven. But she IS a mother. She's perhaps the strongest mother of us all in our little circle. She has to be a mother from really far away. Mothering angels is not an easy task, and is oftentimes overlooked as a real loss.
Each life, each tiny flicker on the ultrasound screen, those moments are real and lasting. Sometimes, those moments are all a mother has.
This Mother's Day was harder for me than before. On Saturday, I was on both ends of the spectrum. I helped a friend say goodbye to their darling little girl. Shortly after that, I saw that another set of friends had brought their sweet baby into this world. That was a bittersweet day. This was a reading that the sweet baby girl's family read at the memorial. It is so fitting for this past weekend.
Flowers, candy, presents. Sleeping in! This is a normal Mother's Day for the blissfully unaware. For my circle of friends it's a little different.
We still get flowers. Maybe candy. Sometimes presents. But we also get the constant reminder that our Mother's day hugs are always less than they should be. The jammy kisses are never complete. There is always part of our Mother's Day spent dreaming of what might have been.
For a few of my friends the nightmare is worse. They just want people to acknowledge that they ARE a mother. One of my friends pointed out that some people do not believe she is a mama because she never held her babies, they were delivered straight into heaven. But she IS a mother. She's perhaps the strongest mother of us all in our little circle. She has to be a mother from really far away. Mothering angels is not an easy task, and is oftentimes overlooked as a real loss.
Each life, each tiny flicker on the ultrasound screen, those moments are real and lasting. Sometimes, those moments are all a mother has.
This Mother's Day was harder for me than before. On Saturday, I was on both ends of the spectrum. I helped a friend say goodbye to their darling little girl. Shortly after that, I saw that another set of friends had brought their sweet baby into this world. That was a bittersweet day. This was a reading that the sweet baby girl's family read at the memorial. It is so fitting for this past weekend.
Can you be a Mother when your baby is not with you?
I thought of you and closed my eyes and prayed to God today.
I asked “What makes a mother?” and I know I heard Him say,
“A mother has a baby.” This we know is true.
“But God, can you be a mother when your baby’s not with you?”
“Yes you can,” He replied with confidence in His voice.
“I give many women babies, when they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime, and others for the day and some I send to feel your womb, but there’s no need to stay.”
“I just don’t understand this God I want my baby to be here.”
He took a deep breath and cleared His throat, and then I saw the tear.
“I wish I could show you, what your child is doing today. If you could see your child’s smile, with all the other children and say:”
“We go to earth to learn our lessons of love and life and fear. My mommy loved me oh so much, I got to come straight here. I feel so lucky to have a mom who had so much love for me. I learned my lessons very quickly, my mommy set me free. I miss my mommy oh so much but I visit her everyday. When she goes to sleep on her pillows where I lay. I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek, and whisper in her ear, “mommy don’t be sad today, I’m your baby and I’m here.”
“So you see my dear sweet ones, your children are okay. Your babies are born here in my home and this is where they’ll stay. They’ll wait for you with me until your lessons through. And on the day that you come home they’ll be at the gates for you. So now you see what makes a mother, It’s the feeling in your heart. It’s the love you had so much of right from the very start. Though some on earth may not realize you are a mother until their time is done. They’ll be up here with me one day and know that you are the best one.”
Please try to remember that a mother isn't necessarily counted by the children you can see...
Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become your character.
Watch your character, for that will become your destiny.
Love and light. Until next time...
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